I was sitting across the restaurant table from a friend of mine who has been engaged in a life long battle to lose weight and keep it off. I was coaching him on what he might do and I suggested that he weigh himself every day.
I suggested he do so until his new way of eating and exercising was a habit he didn’t have to think about anymore. I told him that the surest way to succeed was to be aware daily of the number on that scale.
He resisted that suggestion. “I’m not going to do that,” he said. “All that does is cause me to beat myself up if I haven’t lost any weight.”
I know that weighing oneself every day is contrary to the advice given by many diet gurus. But that’s only because those gurus have been raised under the same system as the rest of us in which the pressure to produce numbers is intense. It’s no wonder people avoid getting on a scale daily. No one wants to feel that pressure again.
From the very youngest age, we were graded in school and those grades were used to compare us to other students. Based on grades, we were put in different “tracks.” And, while they tried to hide the meaning of the tracks by naming them “bluebird,” “robin” and “sparrow,” everyone knew if the track to which they had been assigned was the top or the bottom and there was shame in being at the bottom.
A low score on one, year-end test can prevent a student from graduating.
College entrance exam tests can make the difference between a first class education and a mediocre one.
At work, there is pressure to “make quota.” The only “reward” for making quota this year is to have the quota raised for next year.
We have learned to fear numbers because rarely are they used to make us feel better about ourselves. No matter how well we do, we’re told, overtly or subtly, that we can do better. How many of us were told we’re “not living up to your potential?” What the heck does that mean?
Is it any wonder that no one wants to get on a scale daily? Numbers have rarely been a source of satisfaction. They are almost always used as a way of affirming, “You’re not good enough.”
But we are no longer in school. And while we may be in jobs in which “making quota” is expected, there is no boss looking over our shoulders when we get on that scale. A number is just information to be used to make decisions about what we will eat or not. A number has no meaning except the one we assign to it. We are the ones beating ourselves up and we don’t have to.
But we do have to be constantly vigilant about our weight, especially at the start of a diet when we are changing our habits and trying to ingrain new ones.
If we avoid the number on that scale, we do so at our peril and we are actually making it more difficult for us to lose weight and keep it off.
